We’ve all faced moments when growth felt more like a challenge than a triumph. Some seasons of life can feel heavy, disorienting, or just plain hard. At Amarillo Fellowship, our series “Growing Pains” speaks directly to those tender moments. It’s about growing into who you’re created to be, even when the process feels uncomfortable. Personal change often means letting go of old patterns and stepping into new, unfamiliar ways of thinking and living. But the goal isn’t perfection. It’s purpose, progress, and a more meaningful life.
Richie Brown has brought a lot of heart and truth to this series. In Week 6, we’re focusing on self-leadership—taking intentional steps in your everyday life to become the person God created you to be. This week’s message encourages you to think about how decisions made ahead of time shape your reactions, build character, and create a strong foundation for personal and spiritual growth.
Understanding Self-Leadership
Self-leadership is the practice of guiding yourself with intentionality instead of being swept along by emotions or circumstances. It’s about setting values and making advance decisions that keep you grounded when things get turbulent. For instance, choosing ahead of time that you’ll respond with grace under pressure or that you’ll approach your day with positivity can help you stay aligned with your values even when stress hits.
It’s proactive living. You’re choosing how you’ll show up in the world before the moment demands it of you. Say you’re working on being more patient. If you’ve already resolved to be calm, then when the kids are running late or a coworker frustrates you, you have a standard in place. It’s less about reacting and more about responding—an entirely different mindset.
Consistency and discipline hold it all together. Self-leadership means doing what’s right, even when it’s inconvenient. It’s sticking to your priorities and not letting present discomfort take you off course. And when you start applying that framework across different areas—your relationships, your finances, your habits—you begin to see real change that lasts.
When you don’t lead yourself well, it’s easy to fall into repetitive cycles. But when you make decisions in advance based on who you want to be, you create a path forward that reflects intention rather than impulse.
Leading with Imperfections
Here’s something freeing: leaders don’t have to be perfect. In fact, none of them are. The Bible is full of examples where God used flawed people to do significant things. Moses doubted, Peter denied, and David made huge mistakes. Still, God worked through them powerfully.
Knowing this changes how we view leadership. You don’t need to have it all figured out to make a difference. What matters is your heart, your willingness to grow, and your commitment to keep going even when you fall short.
Acknowledging imperfection doesn’t mean brushing off serious issues, but it does mean giving space for growth and grace. Everyone has moments of weakness. A culture that recognizes this creates room for honest conversations, healing, and deeper connection. Encouraging one another through struggles builds stronger leaders and healthier communities.
Supporting leaders as they grow helps us all move forward. Rather than expecting perfection, let’s look for perseverance, humility, and teachability—those are the marks of someone on a meaningful path. And when we model acceptance and grace, others are more likely to extend the same in return.
The Role of Pain in Growth
Growth isn’t always comfortable. In fact, it often comes from moments we never would have chosen. Pain has a way of shaping us, of revealing who we are and what we still need to learn. Think of how muscles grow. They’re torn slightly during a workout, and in healing, they get stronger. The same is true for personal and spiritual development.
Take someone struggling with patience. They may feel stretched and frustrated in situations that test their limits. But over time, choosing to stay grounded in those moments creates deeper maturity. They begin to notice their responses shifting. That inner growth doesn’t come from ease but from pressing through discomfort.
This is true across challenges in life. Whether it’s grief, failure, transition, or uncertainty, each moment has the potential to teach something new. Pain forces us to pause and look inward. It reveals our true priorities and sheds light on areas that need growth. Being willing to lean into those moments rather than escape them is where transformation begins.
The pathway to becoming a wiser, stronger version of ourselves often runs straight through hardship. But that doesn’t mean we walk it alone. Faith offers the assurance that even in struggle, there’s purpose. And every hard season can birth a new depth of empathy, resilience, and strength.
Avoiding the Rescue Syndrome
Helping those we care about comes naturally. It’s often a reflex to want to rescue a loved one from hardship. But stepping in too quickly can keep someone from learning what they need to grow. Struggle is a teacher, and when we interrupt that process, even with good intentions, we may be doing more harm than good.
Here are a few important reminders when considering when to step in and when to step back:
- Each person’s journey is different and necessary for their own growth.
- Constant rescuing can prevent others from developing the resilience they truly need.
- Standing nearby with support, without taking over, can be the most helpful approach.
The story of Jonah is one example. Jonah had to face the consequences of his choices. Only in the belly of the fish did he truly come to terms with his responsibility and calling. God didn’t spare Jonah from the hardship, but He used it to redirect his life and purpose. And when Jonah followed through, it brought restoration and blessing far beyond himself.
Sometimes you’re not meant to erase someone else’s storm. You’re meant to trust that God is working, even when it looks messy. Stepping back allows people to wrestle with their circumstances and discover strength and direction that could only come through experience.
Your Next Steps Towards Growth
If there’s one takeaway from this week’s message, it’s this: growth is often uncomfortable, but it’s always worth it. You grow through mistakes, through pain, through learning how to lead yourself, and through accepting that you and others won’t always get it right.
Start by putting self-leadership into practice. Begin your day by choosing your responses in advance. Know what kind of person you want to be, then live aligned to that vision, even when the situation tests you. Let go of the pressure to fix everything or everyone, and instead offer grace and space for growth.
Stay open to the lessons pain can teach, and don’t shy away from the hard stuff. It’s often through those challenges that you develop strength, wisdom, and new perspective. And keep encouraging those around you, not just when they get things right, but when they’re still figuring it out.
At Amarillo Fellowship, we believe in growing together. These moments of stretching and learning are what shape strong individuals and thriving communities. Everyone’s path is different, but every step forward counts. You were created with purpose, and growth is part of the journey toward fulfilling it.
Join us at Amarillo Fellowship Church to keep growing in your faith and building real change that lasts. We’re here to help you walk through the ups and downs with encouragement, grace, and intention. If you’ve been looking for a place where real people pursue God together and learn how to lead themselves with purpose, come see what makes our church in Amarillo a place where your next step matters. Let’s move forward in faith, together.